rabbithatch | forcing interaction one way or another!

forcing interaction one way or another!

[awkward shifting everywhere, why am i wearing this thing where people can see me and why are you letting people into my home. i told you i don't want to talk to anyone.]

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[maybe i should just stop talking again...]

... I don't blame you. [for that sentiment]

[really, i can't tell if it'd be better or worse to get everything off of my chest at this point.]

Even if it's supposed to get better in the time you're from, that doesn't mean it will get better for me. I might never come back. ... if I don't come back, then I can't save him. I won't be able to finish my father's work. ... I'll have failed everyone.

[right back to picking at the sheets.]

... I'll protect them.

. . .

Kengo, in one of the times I'm from....

With what happened before I left, I doubted you'd have a way or a motivation to protect them.

[since you said you did it all for your friend, how would I think you cared about us?]

Hm?

[...] I swear that I'll protect them. [i said that it wasn't a lie, remember?] I... promise.

I believe you, but I still don't trust you.

[whoa hey wait back up a second.]

You called me by my first name...

[i suppose that's all the trust i can ask for. i-it's not like that was unexpected. and it's not like you're hurting me on purpose now]

I'll change back, if it bothers you. [but i don't want to.]

[well it's not like i was earlier, either. that was just a side effect of me lashing out.]

What changed?

[... You forgave me.]

You revived Gentarou.

[your verbal excuse isn't good enough. i'm almost tempted to roll over and look at you, but i'm not feeling it yet.]

And we became friends?

If Gentarou's there to ask you... would you do it?

If Gentarou showed up where I am now and asked me to forgive you?

[is this what you're asking me or are we having communication issues again.

also not that i didn't think we weren't already friends, but i still can't believe you really cared about me at that point. considering circumstances.]

[i cared about all of you. it just didn't reach... high enough to how much i cared about—]

That's the only reason you would. Didn't you say that yourself?

... I suppose it's too hard to believe.

If he asked me to forgive you... It would be the same as it is now. I'm working through it because I know he'd want me to, even without being here to ask me.

... There's your answer. Uta...hoshi...san. [my voice did not waver when saying that it did not]

Sakuta, you don't...

[fkdjsh no go back, i like that version better.]

. . .

Whatever you're... more comfortable with. ... I can— I can adjust.

[I AM SO CONFLICTED IT'S NOT FAIR i hate human emotions sometimes. a lot of the time. ... all the time.]

. . .

[oh look we're back to this point.]

. . .

U—

... Utahoshi-san, your... answer?

... everything's really become so complicated.

[siiigh]

I don't mind what you want to call me, if you're used to something else.

[this is the most not-subtle I get.]

[are you actually giving me a choice?] Kengo.

[if i say it enough maybe it'll start to mean something to you.]

[yes.

maybe it'll help me remember how important you are to me, despite everything you've done. and that i'd rather not lose you on top of everything else, even though i can't forgive you yet.]

[... that was the door unlocking. standing up. hand on the doorknob.

hesitating.]

Kengo... For everything you—and Gentarou and the others—have done.... For accepting me.... Believe me when I say—

... Thank you.

[gtg bye]

[i don't believe you right now, but that might change later. either way, it sounds good to hear you say it.]

Sakuta...

[and there's barely a pause, since you're in such a hurry to get out.]

Don't disappear.

[i might hate you, but i still really care about you and don't know what i'd do if everyone i knew was gone for good.]

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asteroidbelt - 2013-03-06 05:41 (UTC) - Expand

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