rabbithatch | calmer weather | kengo utahoshi and ryusei sakuta

calmer weather | kengo utahoshi and ryusei sakuta

For now, it seemed the worst of the storm had passed. Weeks had gone by since Gentarou's death and subsequent revival. Ryusei had betrayed the KRC and also been seemingly forgiven by all of them. Everything seemed fairly normal, aside from the dark cloud on the horizon that the club opted to ignore at times. While things were calm and happy now, the war was still ongoing. Horoscopes were still appearing and attacks were still happening. It would only get worse. In time, it would be too much to ignore.

This was part of the reason Kengo had ducked out of class an hour earlier to go to the infirmary. There were no longer the days of leaving class to go to the Rabbit Hatch and work on Switches in solitude. No more Switches needed to be made and Kengo had spent far too much time going over the older ones again and again until he was forced to stop. Repetition did nothing good for anyone when things were already at their best. This, today, was an honest health issue. While he knew it wasn't the quietest location in the school, it was a better alternative to finding a place on the floor in the Rabbit Hatch and having to deal with everyone when they showed up.

Kengo's case was on the floor next to his bed, his cell phone out of his pocket and on the table top, just in case anyone decided to call him using it. His jacket was off and draped over the side of the bed, his tie loosened just enough to not bother him while he slept.

Unfortunately, even with medicine the nurse had given him, the pain in his head wouldn't completely subside.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tell Gentarou to leave Club early today, Ryusei added to his mental to-do list. Ryusei had studiously left out the part where JK had taken part; Ryusei wasn't sure if Kengo would be harsher on JK, but there was no reason not to try minimizing the casualties. "Don't be too angry with him," Ryusei said tentatively.

Probably a lost cause. Ryusei had also been a little angry, but as he hadn't stopped Gentarou and JK, he felt partly responsible. Not that there was any stopping Gentarou when he wanted something. Saying so would incriminate Ryusei, imply that he had been there, so Ryusei didn't say it. Instead, he turned to go.

Once in the hall, Ryusei looked around. The majority of the Foodroids would either be at Rabbit Hatch or in Yuuki's bag, but— Ah. "Nuggeropa." The pink-eyed tiny round robot bounced up and down in response. Ryusei glanced at the door behind him, then moved a ways away. "Tell Gentarou to go home."

Yuuki could stay if she wanted, but it wasn't her who was in trouble, anyway. "And get someone else over here. Softonya, or Burgermeal." Would Softonya's freezing ability help in this situation? Kengo didn't exactly have a fever. Ryusei frowned, but decided to leave Nuggeropa to it, and went in the opposite direction for the water.

There hadn't been the opportunity to speak to anyone, ask them to look in on Kengo, he thought, disgruntled, as he returned. "Here you go," he said, handing over the bottle.

It had taken a few moments for Kengo to realize Ryusei had left the room at all, bringing his gaze up from the Switch to look around. At first, he'd thought the other had resigned to quietly sitting nearby, but that didn't seem to be the case. The frown remained on his face. Maybe Ryusei had just left without saying anything... Kengo hadn't really noticed his response, after all. It had been more automatic than he'd intended. Even with everything Ryusei had done, Kengo knew Ryusei wouldn't just walk off and leave him without a word. ... well, he was pretty sure.

While he waited to see if the other would return, Kengo continued to examine the Switch. At this point, he could see where at least one of the problems was. If the misplaced piece inside the Switch was the only issue, then it would only take an hour or two to fix, at the most. Hopefully. Kengo had never repaired a Switch in this state before, so he couldn't be sure. Staying in the infirmary and trying to do anything with the kaban system wouldn't work. He'd have to go back to the Hatch and use the resources there, though he'd already completely forgotten Ryusei's offer to go in his place.

Kengo only made it as far as swinging his legs over to the side of the bed and sitting on the edge before Ryusei returned to the room. Setting the Switch back on the bedside table, Kengo accepted the water, intent on getting up and leaving the room as soon as possible -- condition be damned. "Thank you." His gratitude sounded more dismissive than usual, but his actions seemed appreciative. Kengo carefully opened the bottle, keeping his attention focused on it as he took a long sip. It had been something he'd wanted after all, despite wanting to pretend otherwise.

"Going somewhere?" Ryusei said neutrally. Hopefully Kengo had just wanted to sit up, because otherwise, Ryusei was going to have to do something, and he didn't want to struggle physically with Kengo while he was in that state. Worse case scenario, Ryusei could grab the Switch and— No, that wouldn't work; Kengo would just come after him.

What would Gentarou do in this situation? What would Yuuki do? Ryusei had no idea. "If it's about the Switch, I can do it. Gentarou won't need Fire if he uses the other Switches right."

With Kengo giving commands, the remaining Switches were bound to be used right, but Ryusei didn't say that, in case Kengo interpreted it as an attempt at flattery. And anyway, Kengo commanding Gentarou meant that he had gotten better, so in that case Fire would have been repaired already.

"If you're willing to trust me, I can have it back to Gentarou today...." Which meant Kengo would have to forgo checking Ryusei's work, but Ryusei had been at it this long without errors. Well—minor errors. Not the most comforting track record.... "I'll come to you if I encounter any problems."

Putting the lid back on the bottle of water, Kengo glanced back up as Ryusei as he worked with it, looking a bit unsure as to whether he wanted to answer the question or not. His hesitation was enough of a sign of what he'd been thinking about doing, if nothing else. He knew that Gentarou wouldn't need Fire. They hadn't needed it for awhile. The problem was that there was always a chance of an enemy they would need it against and Kengo was well-known for his tendency to be over-prepared for any situation.

"I trust you, but I'd still rather be there..." Kengo trailed off. He knew how it sounded. It sounded like, 'I don't trust you.' To a degree, there might have still been lingering feelings of distrust towards Ryusei, but most of the issue was on Kengo himself. The rest of the club looking down on him for being unable to keep up had always been something that worried him. He hated being weak -- no one needed to tell him he wasn't, because he already knew otherwise.

Putting his bottle of water on the bedside table next to the Switch, Kengo put his hands back down on the side of the bed and pushed himself to stand. "It shouldn't take more than a--"

Even before Kengo could finish his sentence, his body fought back against him for pushing too hard. The familiar sharp pain rang through his head, a soft gasp leaving him as the pain took his breath. As it did every time he tried to push himself, his body gave out, knees failing him as he started to slip to the floor.

"Kengo!" Ryusei grabbed him by the shoulders. He had been irresponsible. He should have gotten someone right away, before this could escalate to this point— "I'm going to call someone. Stay here. Can you stay here until I get back?"

No, no wait. There was no guarantee that nothing would happen while Ryusei was gone. He didn't even know where the staff had gone. Maybe they were on less alert than usual because Kengo came here so often. Irresponsible. Ryusei only had to hope someone was nearby. In the meantime, he had to— "How are you feeling? Can I leave you? Well enough?"

"Ryusei..." It was the second time the other's name had slipped through his lips without Kengo meaning for it to. The censor he usually kept for himself, to insist on keeping people at a distance no matter what, tended to falter when he wasn't thinking straight. As Ryusei caught him, Kengo moved one hand to tightly grip the other's shoulder, his other hand twisting in the fabric of the bottom of Ryusei's uniform jacket. From the pressure he was putting on Ryusei, it was clear that Kengo was attempting to hold himself up, still unable to find his balance.

The constant words of concern made his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kengo knew why Ryusei was worrying so much. It was only natural after everything the other had been through before, which made him feel more guilty about his own condition, despite the fact that there was nothing he could do about it. "I'll be fine." Even when the words left him, Kengo sounded like he didn't believe it either. He couldn't even lift his head to look at the other, though part of that was due to the pounding in his head. Closing his eyes only made him feel worse.

"There's nothing anyone could do to help me, anyway," he muttered. Kengo knew he should have dropped himself back onto the bed, but even that would require effort he was too worried about putting forward. For now, he just did his best to hold himself up with Ryusei's help.

Even if Ryusei wanted to leave right now, he couldn't extricate himself like this. If he let go, to pry Kengo off, Kengo would lose his balance. And he couldn't just leave him here like this—

He had to think clearly. But Kengo's words were worsening his panic. Nothing anyone could do? Obviously there was, if Kengo wasn't like this all the time—

But he was—

No, he wasn't. Think clearly. "Kengo. Kengo, drop onto the bed. I-I have to go get someone—"

Less lightly than he should, he pushed Kengo backwards, a little, just enough, he thought, to make his point clear. Ryusei would have to bolt out after this, make a run—left? right? what direction would the staff have headed?—explain as quickly as possible when he did find someone. But he had to get Kengo to let go. "I'll catch you. Just let go. I'll be back quickly."

As Ryusei pushed, the first signs of panic Kengo had shown came through, immediately tightening his hold and leaning closer to Ryusei as a result. In that moment, he'd been terrified that he would drop completely and manage to hurt himself. While his condition was something he could deal with, they couldn't afford for him to be injured otherwise. It would be one more problem they didn't have time for.

"Sakuta..." The distancing part of Kengo's personality seemed to come back through, at least. He lifted his head just enough to make eye contact. "Calm down." It was spoken as an order. There really was nothing anyone could do to help him and Ryusei panicking would just make the situation more difficult for everyone.

Aside from that, there was still the small part of him that felt guilty for causing this reaction in the first place.

"But—"

I'll be fine, Kengo had said. And for now, that did seem to be true. It was true all the other times that this happened.... Tentatively, Ryusei started to let go, but realized that maybe Kengo couldn't stand yet, and tightened his grip on Kengo's shoulders again. "A-are you sure you don't need...?"

It was the bed that had done it, Ryusei thought in a flash. Someone resting in an infirmary bed, collapsing. Would he have reacted like this if he and Kengo had been standing anywhere else? How embarrassing. Embarrassing, but.... "You have to tell me if you need anything," he said, more calmly, through an exhale. "And... and please be careful."

When Ryusei's grip tightened, there was the faintest hint of a smile on Kengo's face. Embarrassment was something he was feeling as well, over this entire thing. The expression was reminiscent of one he'd had during their time alone in the Hatch a few weeks before. But that personality was drastically different from the way Kengo had been acting since. Ryusei's reveal had essentially made him a completely different person and Kengo had treated him as such. It was almost as if the whole time before the event that changed everything had never happened -- except for the reaction Kengo was having now.

The smile was gone just as quickly as it had come, at least for now. It was nothing more than a slip.

There was a heavy silence while Kengo thought of what to say. At any other point, he would have spoken without thinking, but Ryusei's panic made him pause. He wanted to be careful. Seeing Ryusei like that had caused a horrible, uncomfortable mess of feelings.

"I know you're not used to seeing me like this. Everyone tries to help, but nothing ever works. Medicine, rest... I've spent a long time trying to figure out how to make it better. I can't. All I can do is try to avoid it happening in the first place and wait until it passes. ... sometimes, I don't even have to do anything." He lowered his gaze again, focusing on the collar of Ryusei's uniform instead. "That's why I don't want you to worry so much about something you can't help."

"I-I see." Could Ryusei let go now? He wasn't sure, but Kengo was still holding on, so Ryusei didn't want to repeat the situation from a second ago, when Kengo had clutched him tighter. Standing here was starting to become uncomfortable. It would be different if his arm were slung over or under Kengo's shoulders, but this.... Ryusei could feel Kengo breathing.

"Can you stand now?" Lie back down on the bed, he would add, but Kengo hadn't seemed to want to.

This... this whole thing, the apparent concern for Ryusei's frame of mind, calling Ryusei by name several times now by Ryusei's count.... Ryusei wanted to leave. Get his bearings. Calm his heart rate.

There. That was one of the feelings Kengo hated the most -- when he allowed himself to be vulnerable. Every time it would slip and the realization would sink in, Kengo quickly moved to cover it up and pretend it had never happened in the first place. So instead of allowing it to continue once he noticed Ryusei's reaction, Kengo made a point of thinking how to best avoid the situation.

"For now..." Putting a bit more pressure on Ryusei's shoulder to balance himself, Kengo pushed his body back to sit on the bed again. For a few seconds, Kengo kept his hands on the same spots on Ryusei's body, grasping the fabric with his fingers. Let go. ... right. He had to let go if he was going to lay back down and try to get better somehow, but... he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Kengo repeated the phrase to himself again, a bit stronger, forcing himself to release his hold and bring his hands back. The fabric was wrinkled from how tightly he'd been holding it.

What could he say? There had to be some way to make things less uncomfortable, but nothing came to mind. Instead, Kengo settled for moving himself back on the bed, putting his back against the pillows again and reaching for his water. He never once attempted to make eye contact with Ryusei.

Now that the crisis was seemingly over, Ryusei found himself clasping his hands and looking at the floor. Why had that become so uncomfortable? It almost never was when Gentarou was involved, but Gentarou also didn't try to hang onto Ryusei. Push at a little, maybe, when Ryusei helped him stand. But never clutch at Ryusei even when he was attempting to lie down. For a moment, Ryusei had been almost afraid that Kengo wouldn't let go.

"I-I'll take care of Fire Switch," he said with the ingratiating smile he almost never used now. He almost never used it now because he didn't spend much time with people who weren't Club members. The smile slipped a little, then turned into a wince. What was he doing?

"I'll let you know if I'm unsure about anything," he said, more naturally, raising his head. "Promise."

Ryusei's momentary regression to his past self didn't go unnoticed, but Kengo saw no reason to comment on it. He took a long sip of his water, then another one, almost as though he was trying to distract himself with anything but talking. Once he put the lid back on and set it aside, Kengo took the chance to pick the Fire Switch up from the table. As he had before, his touch was much lighter when handling it.

It would have been better for him to go, he was sure, but he did still trust Ryusei. That didn't stop the thoughts from bothering him about how he wasn't living up to his responsibilities and that he was asking the other for too much. One of the insecurities Kengo had told the other about during their last time together had been that -- though Kengo hoped Ryusei would have forgotten all of that by now. Kengo certainly tried to push it out of his memory. After all... nothing from that time applied to now. It wasn't the same person, or the same actions, or the same feelings. There were a few shadows that slipped through, but...

Kengo held the Switch out to Ryusei with both hands. "Call me if you need anything." He almost added that he would be to the Hatch as soon as he could, but Kengo wasn't sure if he would be good for anything for the rest of the day at this rate.

Ryusei hesitated a moment overlong as he stared at the Switch. To take it, he'd have to touch Kengo's hands, and in any other situation it wouldn't have warranted any awkwardness or any kind of feelings at all, but Ryusei was nervous for a reason he couldn't quite place. No, he knew why, but why now, at this moment, was the real question. Helping someone back to bed when they were ill didn't mean anything.

He was being silly. Taking a breath he hoped was suitably surreptitious, he casually reached for the Switch, forcing his face not to change as their hands touched.

"I'll keep you updated, if you're worried," he said, inclining his head toward the Kaban once he'd stuffed the Switch and his hands in his pockets. Or he could call Kengo, with his phone, but that wasn't free. Technically, Kengo's time wasn't free, either, and in the event that Ryusei did make a serious error, he had no doubt that Kengo would jump out of bed and possibly yell a lot while stalking angrily to Rabbit Hatch. Maybe Ryusei should get Gentarou in here to placate Kengo. Not that Ryusei intended on making a serious error, but he'd already erred once when he'd failed to get a nurse or someone to come in here.

Kengo had said that there had been nothing anyone could do. Ryusei looked down to hide his frustrated sigh. "I'll get you some more water," he added when he looked up again. "Would that help?"

Kengo hadn't been so lucky about keeping a straight face. There was a slight flinch that crossed his face when Ryusei touched him again, the same internal voice that had spoken earlier scolded him for his thoughts of grabbing at the other. As soon as Ryusei took the Switch, Kengo dropped his hand back to his lap. Distracting himself with the sheets on the bed seemed like the next best thing to do, especially if he was going to attempt to sleep, so Kengo busied himself with tugging at them while he spoke.

Was he worried? Of course he was worried. "You don't need to update me unless there's something you need, but I don't want you to be afraid to ask. I'll stay here for awhile." While Kengo knew more details about what he was going to be doing, he felt it was best not to say for fear of looking too weak. He was careful with moving the sheets, wondering if the slightest movement would cause him to have another pain. It seemed better now, but sometimes he couldn't predict them at all.

Kengo perked his head back up at the offer, thinking it over for a moment. Refusing any sort of help was usually his style, but... Ryusei was genuinely worried, even if it was because of some sort of projection from lingering issues in his past. "It might help..." He was contradicting what he'd said earlier, but if it would help Ryusei to feel as though he was making some sort of difference, then...

Ryusei remained there a moment without speaking. It wasn't like he hadn't been very careful not to reveal anything on his face, but Kengo's flinch had bothered him, a little. Must be the lingering discomfort from being so close earlier. Yes, that was it.

Maybe it was a good thing that Kengo had decided that updates were unnecessary. Ryusei couldn't imagine how bad it would get if the two of them had to be in one another's presence for the next long while. Or not. They would just be on each other's screens. It'd be like talking to Burgermeal. But the issue was moot.

He turned to the door. "I'll be right back, then."

It wasn't like anything had changed, Ryusei thought as he came back. This... kind of thing, with the proximity and the touching, had happened before, and nothing had changed. Distracted as he approached Kengo once more, Ryusei noticed too late that Horuwankov was in his path, and in the attempt to avoid stepping on the Foodroid, overbalanced and fell onto the bed.

Kengo wasn't sure what to do with himself while Ryusei was gone. As soon as the other was out of sight, he picked at the sheets of the bed and stared down at them. If he at least tried to rest, then maybe things would be better later. Maybe he could work on his homework. Though with Kengo being one of the top students of the school, and all of his work with the KRC, Kengo was regularly at least one week ahead on all of his subjects. It was just like his work with the Switches -- he could almost be too efficient at everything he did.

Distracting himself with homework didn't seem like a bad idea, if he couldn't fall asleep. He already had his books from his morning classes with him.

As soon as he heard Ryusei coming back into the room, Kengo lifted his head and turned to face him, immediately going wide-eyed as the other crashed into the bed. Close... This was really too close... Kengo let out a breath, shaking with the same nervousness he'd shown when Ryusei had leaned over his shoulder a few weeks before in the Hatch.

Putting his hands down, Kengo grasped Ryusei's shoulders, gently nudging him up. "... are you all right?" It almost felt as though his hands were shaking, but he couldn't be sure.

"It's nothing," Ryusei said, getting to his feet. "Are you...?"

Ryusei had been sure he hadn't landed on Kengo's body, but maybe someone suddenly falling, causing a shift in the elevation of the bed wasn't conducive to the dizziness, or whatever it was. Not to speak of the normal shock someone got when someone started falling, as Ryusei well knew.

"H-here..." He held out the water bottle—anticlimactically, he thought, after his fall, but it couldn't be helped. Horuwankov was circling his feet, he thought it sounded apologetic, so Ryusei picked it up and put it on the bed by Kengo.

"I'm fine..." The response had come before Kengo thought about it, but there really was nothing wrong. He'd only been caught off guard by the other's sudden fall and a bit concerned. Mostly, he was still thinking about how close their proximity had been. Just as every time they were close to each other, Kengo found it difficult to let the other go, despite how quickly he had stood back up.

With Kengo's back against the pillows and Ryusei at the edge of the bed, his hands slipped from the other boy's shoulders. Just before he'd lost contact completely, Kengo had given one light tug as if to pull Ryusei back down to him -- something barely noticeable -- before dropping his hands back to his lap. Even if it was something he instinctively wanted to do, what else could he do about it? Kengo knew that every time they ended up too close to each other, Ryusei would walk away from him. There really was no point in making him more uncomfortable.

Kengo took the bottle from Ryusei's hands, giving a slight bow of his head. When he looked away again, he kept the bottle in his lap, turning it over. There had to be something he could say...

It wasn't like he was hyperaware of touch—or even Kengo's touch—or anything. But if he asked Kengo about that light pressure on his shoulder just a second ago, the answer would probably be What do you mean? and Ryusei would have revealed that he had read more into a simple touch than was warranted. It wasn't, after all, unreasonable to have a firm grip on someone while helping them up.

So why was Kengo fiddling with the bottle like that? Had Ryusei gotten the wrong brand? No, it was the same as the one earlier. And that was silly; if Kengo had wanted something other than water, he would have said so. Probably.

"Kengo...." He plucked the hovering Nuggeropa from the air and put it on Horuwanknov's head to hide how fidgety he was. The question he wanted to ask was only going to make it worse between them, he knew, but it was the lesser evil. He worded it carefully, so as not to seem presumptive. "What... did you call me, before?"

To be honest, the question about the touch might have ended up with a more honest response. At least with that, Kengo knew why he was doing it and had been actively thinking about his reasoning for it. When the question came, Kengo picked at the bottle's wrapper with his nail and kept his attention focused on the sheets in front of him. ... what had he called him? Didn't he always refer to Sakuta by his last name?

Though... As Kengo thought about it, he couldn't distinctly remember when the name had slipped, but he could remember the feeling of saying it. It was different than the other times he'd addressed Ryusei and he hadn't given it much thought while it was happening. It had simply felt like the right thing to do, he supposed. ... but Ryusei was questioning him about it. It didn't seem as though he was angry, but Kengo didn't know what to think. Why was he even asking? ... was he supposed to explain himself?

"It slipped... I guess." Kengo didn't sound very sure of himself, still unable to look up at the other. Was he supposed to apologize? He didn't know if that would make a difference. He couldn't even say the other's name, now that he was thinking about it. The idea of repeating it felt too ... personal.

That was an odd slip to make, considering Ryusei called Kengo by name now, himself. Not close enough for that, then?

... Understandable. Kengo hadn't changed his form of address toward anyone, and the only reason Ryusei had was because his prior personality, the one he used to show the Club, had largely been an affectation. Why should Kengo change the way he called people?

That was the question, though; why then, had Kengo called Ryusei by name? Right upon waking, no less. "Kengo, what do you think I'm talking about?"

To Ryusei, it was obvious, but it might not have been, if Ryusei had been too vague. Kengo's answer had made sense (to an... extent), but Ryusei didn't want any misunderstandings. And if there was a misunderstanding? Uncomfortably, Ryusei shrugged off the thought. He'd get to that when—if—he got to it.

"Addressing you so casually. Isn't that what you're talking about?" Again, Kengo couldn't recall the exact moments he'd said it, but he was sure this was what Ryusei was talking about. It made him even more uncomfortable that he was being called out on it -- that Ryusei had noticed him being so vulnerable in those moments. It was his own fault for not being more careful.

Kengo couldn't help but squirm a bit, shifting uncomfortably and bringing his legs up to fold them closer to his body. He was still picking at the label on his bottle, his head turned away enough that he was now focusing on the floor instead. Just from his behavior, it was clear how awkward the topic was for him to talk about.

So he'd been correct, then, in surmising that Kengo didn't want to be that close.

Only in dreams, huh? Ryusei didn't let the bitter smile show on his face as he turned to go. "I should get to work."

He'd gone a mere few steps before he stopped. Something hadn't felt right. If it was just a simple matter of pushing Ryusei away, then why had Kengo looked so uncomfortable? He must not have wanted Ryusei to know, Ryusei reasoned. But— But why then, had he been calling Ryusei by name in the first place...?

He turned. "You can call me that if you want," he said carefully.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject