[no i'm just saying that in the hopes that i feel better about how horrible i feel for things ending up that way.]

Everything you did for your friend was because it was what you wanted for him. ... it wasn't what he wanted. ... everything that happened stemmed from what you thought was right for the situation. Your desperation and your loyalty to the idea of one person. Desires you manifested when no one was there to make requests. The only time you did anything was when it suited you.