rabbithatch | ryusei flashing is grounds for no joy

What's your mun doing no--

[WAIT NOPE OKAY that's not something you see every day, going to just immediately turn his back and pretend he saw nothing yep.

clears throat.]

What's going to hurt?

[it's just my body kengo]

Checking for injuries, I'm guessing? I'm at several canon points simultaneously, apparently.

[THERE IS NO JUST]

Considering my primary timeline, you shouldn't have any from then.

[really kengo you're going to do this now.]

[did it just get awkward in here or is it just me]

I'm— I'm not on your timeline. [look at me when you make statements like that B| ]

[no it's been awkward where have you been]

... it's the first thing I'll always think of, at this point. What other points are there for you?

[guilt guilt guilt]

. . .

... After we got back from Kyoto, and... after you died. [technically the latter isn't my canon point yet but my mun jumps around so much]

... [are you still not going to look at me while you guilt trip me or are you making a statement?]

[crossing his arms in front of his chest to sort of ignore the awkward feeling surrounding hearing about him being dead

also no why should i be looking.]

I see.

[ B| Walking close, grasping your shoulder.] That's cavalier, for someone who's so stuck on his own canon point. You're not the only one who has to—

[... Has to what? Who has to... forg— Push away the pai— No, I can't... admit it.] . . .

[turns back around and smacks Ryusei's hand away before thinking about it -- actually no maybe he didn't want to do that]

What else would you expect me to do? Get over it? It's not going to fix itself. I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

[presses lips together, turns head away, god it is way too hard to have a serious conversation with someone when they're half-naked.]

. . . [well it's not like i'm happy that i did it, either.]

... I'm having to deal with it, too. [because i got brainwashed.]

Does that make you feel better? [ B| ]

I'm still trying to ignore the part of me that wants to hurt you.

[makes a soft scoffing noise]

I wouldn't usually expect something like that out of me.

. . .

[I'm going to go get my shirt now.]

[STILL ALL OF THE AWKWARD stop being so attractive

actually, no. crap. why is now the time to be embarrassed.

muttermutter]

... sorry.

[are you attracted to the sight of me crying inside]

. . . I understand. [but I can't tell you that you can hit me because I wouldn't be able to deal with that kind of visceral rejection]

. . . It hurt when I did it, if... if that would make you feel better.

[NO okay wait maybe a little]

You regained what was most important to you. ... Kisaragi understood your reasoning. I'll learn to. ... eventually.

[maybe.]

[I didn't regain what was most important to me. He relapsed. Gentarou's death would have been for nothing if you hadn't brought him back.]

My... reasoning. [Gentarou is... an idiot. This "reasoning" would never apply to— to other murderers.] [mutter] My reasoning wouldn't have meant anything if Gentarou weren't there.

What do you mean?

[he's being nice and asking so he doesn't make something up]

[Do I really have to spell it out or do you just want to make me say it?]

[Gonna slowly put on my shirt to stall.]

Jirou relapsed. If you hadn't brought him—Gentarou—back, there would be no "reasoning." [Just a corpse, a killer, and a comatose.] ... It would have been for nothing.

[hey wait no one said you had to do that, even though it makes it easier to talk to you.]

You would have found a way...

[I confronted Yamada prepared to die, Kengo.]

That was my only way. I wouldn't have killed Gentarou otherwise, Kengo.

[ . . . I thought you wanted to hurt me.] Why...? Why are you....

[oh right that minor detail

and wow it's really weird to hear you say my first name since no version of you ever has around me]

-- why am I what?

. . . [turning away.] Nothing.

. . .

It's hard now, but you revive Gentarou, in the future. Believe in that. [heading out the door]

Sakuta!

[goddammit

no you are not leaving

grabbing arm and tugging you right back into this room]

[Don't touch me.]

Don't you believe me?

[well it's not like i want to.]

You don't understand anything.

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