ryusei flashing is grounds for no joy

[asteroidbelt]

[shirtless]

... This isn't going to hurt, is it?

Comments

[mathemagician]

I'm still trying to ignore the part of me that wants to hurt you.

[makes a soft scoffing noise]

I wouldn't usually expect something like that out of me.

[asteroidbelt]

. . .

[I'm going to go get my shirt now.]

[mathemagician]

[STILL ALL OF THE AWKWARD stop being so attractive

actually, no. crap. why is now the time to be embarrassed.

muttermutter]

... sorry.

[asteroidbelt]

[are you attracted to the sight of me crying inside]

. . . I understand. [but I can't tell you that you can hit me because I wouldn't be able to deal with that kind of visceral rejection]

. . . It hurt when I did it, if... if that would make you feel better.

[mathemagician]

[NO okay wait maybe a little]

You regained what was most important to you. ... Kisaragi understood your reasoning. I'll learn to. ... eventually.

[maybe.]

[asteroidbelt]

[I didn't regain what was most important to me. He relapsed. Gentarou's death would have been for nothing if you hadn't brought him back.]

My... reasoning. [Gentarou is... an idiot. This "reasoning" would never apply to— to other murderers.] [mutter] My reasoning wouldn't have meant anything if Gentarou weren't there.

[mathemagician]

What do you mean?

[he's being nice and asking so he doesn't make something up]

[asteroidbelt]

[Do I really have to spell it out or do you just want to make me say it?]

[Gonna slowly put on my shirt to stall.]

Jirou relapsed. If you hadn't brought him—Gentarou—back, there would be no "reasoning." [Just a corpse, a killer, and a comatose.] ... It would have been for nothing.

[mathemagician]

[hey wait no one said you had to do that, even though it makes it easier to talk to you.]

You would have found a way...

[asteroidbelt]

[I confronted Yamada prepared to die, Kengo.]

That was my only way. I wouldn't have killed Gentarou otherwise, Kengo.

[ . . . I thought you wanted to hurt me.] Why...? Why are you....

[mathemagician]

[oh right that minor detail

and wow it's really weird to hear you say my first name since no version of you ever has around me]

-- why am I what?

[asteroidbelt]

. . . [turning away.] Nothing.

. . .

It's hard now, but you revive Gentarou, in the future. Believe in that. [heading out the door]

[mathemagician]

Sakuta!

[goddammit

no you are not leaving

grabbing arm and tugging you right back into this room]

[asteroidbelt]

[Don't touch me.]

Don't you believe me?

[mathemagician]

[well it's not like i want to.]

You don't understand anything.

[asteroidbelt]

Not going to give up on me? [Is that why you're telling me that?] I understand enough. Let go of me.

[mathemagician]

[not saying anything, just going to stand here holding your wrist and being awkward.]

[asteroidbelt]

[my hands are in fists right now. let go. i don't want to give you ammunition against me if i hurt you pulling away.]

[mathemagician]

[....well where did this anger come from all of a sudden.

also nope.]

If you leave, you wouldn't come back, would you?

[asteroidbelt]

[you're sickly. i don't want to hurt you.]

[... come back? do you want to watch me cry that badly?] . . . Let go.

[mathemagician]

. . .

[reluctantly lets go, taking a few steps back]

Figures.

[asteroidbelt]

[why]

. . . [I was trying to—] That's right. [bitter so bitter] So stay away. [That way, in addition to— everything else, I won't have to watch you die.]

[mathemagician]

For once in your life, you should think about what someone else might want.

[hey look there's the bitter. it came back. Kengo's just going to go wander a little further away, but he's still here.]

[asteroidbelt]

[how did you somehow paralyze me. if i bite my lip hard enough and look down to hide my eyes, would i be able to sob completely silently]

[mathemagician]

[it takes a minute for him to notice and there's the awkward heart drop.]

... why are you doing that?