ryusei flashing is grounds for no joy

[asteroidbelt]

[shirtless]

... This isn't going to hurt, is it?

Comments

[asteroidbelt]

[nope nope nope ryusei.exe shutting down]

Is that what you're doing? [i should shove you away but even despite that comment i don't want to hurt you] Would you continue if I said yes?

[mathemagician]

[no, that's not what i'm doing.]

I'd stop if you told me the truth.

[not that I trust you, but...]

[asteroidbelt]

The... truth... ? [you want me to tell you how much you've hurt me? if i gave you the right answer, would you let go?

what is the right answer?]

... Yes. [i'm not going limp on purpose jsyk]

[mathemagician]

[that's enough to get you freedom and by the way I'm just going to wander off and sit down somewhere nearby and keep my back to you without saying anything else.

no everything's fine, why would anything be wrong.]

[asteroidbelt]

[that thud was my knees hitting the floor]

. . .

Was that wrong?

[mathemagician]

I stopped.

[asteroidbelt]

. . .

If I'd said no?

[mathemagician]

... I would have stopped anyway. I guess I'm too tired to think about ways to hurt you anymore. Touching you, forcing you to stay, and making you think about those things... That's enough for now, isn't it?

[crossing his arms and curling up in the chair a bit, still not bothering to look back]

[asteroidbelt]

[is that why you wanted to keep me here

if i went away you wouldn't have someone to hurt?]

You called me selfish.

[mathemagician]

[no i'm just saying that in the hopes that i feel better about how horrible i feel for things ending up that way.]

Everything you did for your friend was because it was what you wanted for him. ... it wasn't what he wanted. ... everything that happened stemmed from what you thought was right for the situation. Your desperation and your loyalty to the idea of one person. Desires you manifested when no one was there to make requests. The only time you did anything was when it suited you.

[asteroidbelt]

[i wasn't asking what you meant. does it suit you, my being here? does it suit you still, to explain that to me? is that another form of hurting, kengo?]

You said you'd stop.

[mathemagician]

[no sense in answering, really.

now i'll stop and just sit here quietly. hope you like awkward silence.]

[asteroidbelt]

[i'll just continue kneeling here and try to stop my shivering]