rabbithatch | ryusei flashing is grounds for no joy

[crossing his arms in front of his chest to sort of ignore the awkward feeling surrounding hearing about him being dead

also no why should i be looking.]

I see.

[ B| Walking close, grasping your shoulder.] That's cavalier, for someone who's so stuck on his own canon point. You're not the only one who has to—

[... Has to what? Who has to... forg— Push away the pai— No, I can't... admit it.] . . .

[turns back around and smacks Ryusei's hand away before thinking about it -- actually no maybe he didn't want to do that]

What else would you expect me to do? Get over it? It's not going to fix itself. I'm doing the best I can with what I have.

[presses lips together, turns head away, god it is way too hard to have a serious conversation with someone when they're half-naked.]

. . . [well it's not like i'm happy that i did it, either.]

... I'm having to deal with it, too. [because i got brainwashed.]

Does that make you feel better? [ B| ]

I'm still trying to ignore the part of me that wants to hurt you.

[makes a soft scoffing noise]

I wouldn't usually expect something like that out of me.

. . .

[I'm going to go get my shirt now.]

[STILL ALL OF THE AWKWARD stop being so attractive

actually, no. crap. why is now the time to be embarrassed.

muttermutter]

... sorry.

[are you attracted to the sight of me crying inside]

. . . I understand. [but I can't tell you that you can hit me because I wouldn't be able to deal with that kind of visceral rejection]

. . . It hurt when I did it, if... if that would make you feel better.

[NO okay wait maybe a little]

You regained what was most important to you. ... Kisaragi understood your reasoning. I'll learn to. ... eventually.

[maybe.]

[I didn't regain what was most important to me. He relapsed. Gentarou's death would have been for nothing if you hadn't brought him back.]

My... reasoning. [Gentarou is... an idiot. This "reasoning" would never apply to— to other murderers.] [mutter] My reasoning wouldn't have meant anything if Gentarou weren't there.

What do you mean?

[he's being nice and asking so he doesn't make something up]

[Do I really have to spell it out or do you just want to make me say it?]

[Gonna slowly put on my shirt to stall.]

Jirou relapsed. If you hadn't brought him—Gentarou—back, there would be no "reasoning." [Just a corpse, a killer, and a comatose.] ... It would have been for nothing.

[hey wait no one said you had to do that, even though it makes it easier to talk to you.]

You would have found a way...

[I confronted Yamada prepared to die, Kengo.]

That was my only way. I wouldn't have killed Gentarou otherwise, Kengo.

[ . . . I thought you wanted to hurt me.] Why...? Why are you....

[oh right that minor detail

and wow it's really weird to hear you say my first name since no version of you ever has around me]

-- why am I what?

. . . [turning away.] Nothing.

. . .

It's hard now, but you revive Gentarou, in the future. Believe in that. [heading out the door]

Sakuta!

[goddammit

no you are not leaving

grabbing arm and tugging you right back into this room]

[Don't touch me.]

Don't you believe me?

[well it's not like i want to.]

You don't understand anything.

Not going to give up on me? [Is that why you're telling me that?] I understand enough. Let go of me.

[not saying anything, just going to stand here holding your wrist and being awkward.]

[my hands are in fists right now. let go. i don't want to give you ammunition against me if i hurt you pulling away.]

[....well where did this anger come from all of a sudden.

also nope.]

If you leave, you wouldn't come back, would you?

[you're sickly. i don't want to hurt you.]

[... come back? do you want to watch me cry that badly?] . . . Let go.

. . .

[reluctantly lets go, taking a few steps back]

Figures.

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