forcing interaction one way or another!

[mathemagician]

[awkward shifting everywhere, why am i wearing this thing where people can see me and why are you letting people into my home. i told you i don't want to talk to anyone.]

Comments

[asteroidbelt]

... [it's not like i expect you to trust me, but

ow.]

Yes.

[mathemagician]

[i don't know if i feel better or not now. wait. ... a little better. sort of. maybe. i think.]

I haven't forgiven you yet... [mutter] ... but I'm working on it.

[asteroidbelt]

. . .

[mathemagician]

[argh it really sucks to say that when i said i'd never forgive you and now i'm trying.]

... it's what Kisaragi would want. Even if I'm in a place where I've lost all of my hope... all of my ability to continue my mission... he wouldn't want me to hate you. What you did...

[picking at the sheets on my bed since i'm so nervous and trying to distract myself.]

To save someone important to me, I would do everything I could.

[asteroidbelt]

[You wouldn't murder.]

[... It all comes back to Gentarou, doesn't it? It always does.] [mumble] And if... that wasn't what Gentarou would have wanted...?

[mathemagician]

[you don't know that. i considered the idea of killing you if it would bring gentarou back, when i was at my angriest.]

I don't want to think about it.

[asteroidbelt]

[if you're only doing it for gentarou's sake, then you haven't really forgiven me, have you?]

... I-I see. [I can't... overcome that barrier between us after all.]

[mathemagician]

[no, but knowing you didn't lie about being my friend is helping as long as I believe it.]

... I really wanted to kill you, that time. Just to get back at you for how badly you'd hurt me.

[asteroidbelt]

. . .








... Is... is that so.

[mathemagician]

[maybe i should just stop talking again...]

[asteroidbelt]

... I don't blame you. [for that sentiment]

[mathemagician]

[really, i can't tell if it'd be better or worse to get everything off of my chest at this point.]

Even if it's supposed to get better in the time you're from, that doesn't mean it will get better for me. I might never come back. ... if I don't come back, then I can't save him. I won't be able to finish my father's work. ... I'll have failed everyone.

[right back to picking at the sheets.]

[asteroidbelt]

... I'll protect them.

. . .

Kengo, in one of the times I'm from....

[mathemagician]

With what happened before I left, I doubted you'd have a way or a motivation to protect them.

[since you said you did it all for your friend, how would I think you cared about us?]

Hm?

[asteroidbelt]

[...] I swear that I'll protect them. [i said that it wasn't a lie, remember?] I... promise.

[mathemagician]

I believe you, but I still don't trust you.

[whoa hey wait back up a second.]

You called me by my first name...

[asteroidbelt]

[i suppose that's all the trust i can ask for. i-it's not like that was unexpected. and it's not like you're hurting me on purpose now]

I'll change back, if it bothers you. [but i don't want to.]

[mathemagician]

[well it's not like i was earlier, either. that was just a side effect of me lashing out.]

What changed?

[asteroidbelt]

[... You forgave me.]

You revived Gentarou.

[mathemagician]

[your verbal excuse isn't good enough. i'm almost tempted to roll over and look at you, but i'm not feeling it yet.]

And we became friends?

[asteroidbelt]

If Gentarou's there to ask you... would you do it?

[mathemagician]

If Gentarou showed up where I am now and asked me to forgive you?

[is this what you're asking me or are we having communication issues again.

also not that i didn't think we weren't already friends, but i still can't believe you really cared about me at that point. considering circumstances.]

[asteroidbelt]

[i cared about all of you. it just didn't reach... high enough to how much i cared about—]

That's the only reason you would. Didn't you say that yourself?

... I suppose it's too hard to believe.

[mathemagician]

If he asked me to forgive you... It would be the same as it is now. I'm working through it because I know he'd want me to, even without being here to ask me.

[asteroidbelt]

... There's your answer. Uta...hoshi...san. [my voice did not waver when saying that it did not]